oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
