so explain again why im purple
no
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
