And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
