Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
