i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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