Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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