Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize