Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Acid is not a monday night drug
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
