That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
