It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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