dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
