party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
