I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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