Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
