Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
