Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
