I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sext me about skeletons
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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