bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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