he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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