omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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