if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
