i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
MIDGETS
????
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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