she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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