she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize