i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
