Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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