You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
