I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
