Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
