You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize