Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
