I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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