i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
