if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
