i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
