Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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