OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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