i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
