Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
