Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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