So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
