she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
