I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
