Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
