I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
