Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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