no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
