the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
