Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
