is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
