Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
