a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
