She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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