At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
