I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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