Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize