I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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